Photographic Memory

I’ve never been good with memories. Not because I can’t remember things, it’s because I remember everything, every little detail, every nuance. People with that kind of ability—remembering the details and nuances—might be having a photographic memory. I still remember the first word I learnt in English, it was cat, I learnt it from a book, the kind of book which has lot of squares and there is a picture and a word in each square. The cat word and picture were on top left of the left page, each page consisted of two rows and three columns. I felt excited and had lot of jolts in learning that language. The kind of jolt when you know you will do great in it.

That was one of my stored memories.

Not also having photographic memory, I also have the ability to choose the things I like to remember. I have my own mind palace. Ring a bell of something? Yes, Sherlock also has that. My mind—my brain—it’s like a library and also there is a movie theatre there, I store my memories in the library as different types; long-terms as photographs and movies; short-terms as papers. As you know, memories are stored information and sometimes I’d like to throw any information which aren’t that important even some common senses.

In most of the cases, when it comes to knowing someone, I’d like to make the memories into a book, full of chapters and if I know them long enough, series will do.

But when it came to my best friend, I made the memories into photographs and movies, in fragments and scenes.

—

Scene 1

When I met my best friend for the very first time, he wore his batch's shirt, dark blue jeans, and a pair of shoes with no laces on. I came late. I came late with one of my friend who just had had a fought with her boyfriend.

"Sorry, we're late," said myself while smiling awkwardly.

"Ah yeah, it's okay," you said as I tried to find somewhere to sit, "actually, since you came late, give me a sentence using past tense."

"Me?"

"Yes, you"

I rolled my eyes and said, "I came late"

One second had passed and you were still trying to digest my sudden cynicism,

"Past tense, right?”

and my sarcasm.

Scene 2

I was minding my own business, playing with anything just to make myself awake and not swimming in my own boredom. I attached my pen onto my watch, it became a laser shooter in my imagination. My fun imagination which brought me to another moment.

"You, girl, over there"

I felt like everyone was looking right at me,

"Hey, you were called," said my friend

I'm in trouble.

"Me?"

"Yes, you, what's your name?"

"Olivia"

"Olivia is a noun from now on"

That's it boy,

"Well, thank you very much!"

another sarcasm.

One second, you stood there in awe.

"Okay, Olivia is a noun, let's make a sentence from it; Olivia is beautiful."

Scene 3

I swore to God for not coming to any club's meeting, I swore to God for not associating myself with him.

"He called you beautiful," my friend said

"I don't fucking care, he humiliated me," said myself.

Fragment 1

It was around ten at night, I was about to sleep and wandered around my old memories about other. I checked my phone for the last time, just maybe, he sent me a chat. But he didn't. He didn't sent me anything and I got a friend request, from my future-best friend.

"What does he want?" I mumbled.

Fragment 2

It's nine in the morning and I decided to accept his friend request.

Fragment 3

"Do I really need to send him a message?" I asked myself

Fragment 4

My best friend was aware of my sarcasm and he said he loves my writing. An ENFP and he didn't know anything about hocrux.

Fragment 5

I couldn't be wrong. I didn't read him wrong. A girlfriend he said. I might be pranked.

Fragment 6

I read him wrong.

"If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her, but if you're single that's honestly worse," said Taylor Swift in 2017.

Now I'm thanking God that he had had a girlfriend back then.

Scene 4

He wore the exact clothes as his profile picture. San Fransisco t-shirt and his old dark blue jacket. He was so noisy about my music choice and made me yell at him because he forgot to use the seatbelt.

Superman. Does it remind you of something?

Group of people were seen wearing the same t-shirt across our table. It was written "Superman" on each t-shirt. We talked shits about them, despite the fact that it was a group of middle-aged men and women, we talked shit about them. Also, one of your "casualty" greeted you and looked rather shocked instead of pleased.

Inside jokes were made.

Scene 5

We had been driving around east Surabaya for hours and I started to become an expert on that area. Westlife, Paramore, Coldplay, The Script, Keane, and all 80's and 90's which were too much to remember had played.

I didn't do well in parking. My best friend told me that I made "jukir" mad at me. But I'm good in parking now. Really.

Rain was pouring when we listened to My Love from Westlife. We talked about how great old music and you decided to compare it with EDM. I almost told you to get out from my car.

I despise EDM, you learned that.

Fragment 7

"Coldplay songs remind me of you," I told you through WhatsApp.

U.F.O reminds me of you

Adventure of a Lifetime reminds me of you

Gravity reminds me of you

Yellow reminds me of you

The Scientist reminds me of you

Everglow reminds me of you

O reminds me of you

Viva la Vida reminds me of you

Paradise reminds me of you

Hymn of The Weekend reminds me the most of you

Fragment 8

"You were doing great," he texted me

"I'm so sorry for being sarcastic at you, I'm so so so sorry!!!!!!" I replied

Scene 6

Sekber or something you called as your secret chamber once witnessed our intimate moment. We talked a lot in a room full of people, I realized they kept looking at us, they kept wondering. I guess it was only the two of us at that time.

It was the first time and the last time we were being seen together in Sekber.

Scene 7

We both love Marvel. He loves the comics, I love the movies.

We were so hyped about Doctor Strange—also Benedict Cumberbatch in my case. Both of us had been waiting for it since the beginning of the year.

The movie was great.

You bought a take-home sandwich because you were still hungry, somewhere, in your mind. 

You made a good choice for your life at that time.

Because at that time, I lost my ability in memorizing things.

We went around the wrong parking lot for almost an hour just to find my car. We—I mostly—forgot that we should use another escalator to the right parking lot.

I almost cried and you almost went nuts.

But at the end of the time, I drove my car wondering how could I forget and you ate your chicken sandwich while laughing hard.

Guess it wasn't Benedict who made me happy. But myself being a complete human in front of you, made me happy.

Fragment 9

I am full of calculation. I am full of strategy. I am full of pattern. But when it came to my best friend, I'm not all of the above.

We, at first, used percentage to describe how much we had known about each other. You said, that you had told me everything about you, from your fears and dark secrets to your happiness and cherished moments.

100%

And I told you, I had told you everything, but you need to learn me by yourself.

90%

You decided to stop learning me. And we start using percentage again, both are on 0%.

Fragment 10

I wasn't myself on August.

I wasn't myself on September.

I wasn't myself on October.

I'm losing myself right now.

I hoped you would understand and heard me out on August.

I hoped you would understand and heard me out on September.

I hoped you would understand and heard me out on October.

And I stopped hoping on November 4th 2017.

We parted our life from each other’s.

—

To my best friend aka Mr. Dinosaur aka Bapak Angin, life had parted us apart, but I always cherish every single moment, every single detail of my life with you. There’s so many things that I want to tell you, but I can’t always do that as you know me. I guess people are right about the best friend break-up, it’s the most painful one.

But let me tell you something, whatever you are doing right now, whatever you are chasing after right now, I hope you don’t forget to take a look around you, to connect yourself with the world, to love your life, to love others, and also don’t forget to drink a lot of mineral water and also, again, take your vitamin.

I hope you are doing well, acing yourself on your final paper, getting the job you want, living the life you want, and remember this; I always believe in you.

Today should be the second anniversary of our friendship by the way.

Love, your INTJ aka Ms. Fugu

—

Scene 8

“Imagine if we are married to each other in the future”

“What?” I chuckled

“No, really, just imagine that,” you replied “imagine we are married to each other, how it will be?” You asked me.

“Well, it will be funny, of course. Gotta go, Mom has been calling me for dinner” I replied in hurry.

“No, not that, the pros and cons”

“Later, okay?” I told you

“Do it right now, you can do it in five minutes.”

As always, you made me do things.

“Okay, okay, only five minutes.”

As always, it’s not only in five minutes and I ate dinner while talking to you.